Jersey Shore

Good Lord! Its now time for Guido's and Guidettes.
Where do they find these people seriously?! Not a pretty cast at all let me just say.
Here we have a bunch of testosterone boys and estrogen filled barely looking over 21 yr old.
They all come off as Pompous, arrogant, materialistic, self-righteous wanna be Silicians.
With tacky clothes , over the top makeup (mind you even the boys where lip gloss!) fake tans, pumped up abs and biceps (really the only thing going for the guys) this show makes for a fight waiting to happen every episode. Kinda like a cheap version of Real World on a $50.00 budget! OMG the house they got is so childhood cabin like and tacky I would have turned away that second and said "I'm not living here", but they all thought it was dreamy!
I'm willing to bet the Italians are embarrassed by this show and pray no relatives see it.
The only guy on the show remotely attractive is DJ Pauly. The rest of the guys from the waist down are okay.
But I regress and continue on.

Location: Jersey Shore

The Cast:
Mike, 27 - Staten Island, NY "The Situation"
DJ Pauly D, 28 - Johnston, RI
Ronny, 23 - Bronx, NY
Nicole, 21 - Marlboro, NY "Snooki"
Jenni, 23 - Franklin Square, NY "JWoww"
Sammi, 22 - Hazlet, NJ "Sweetheart"
Angelina, 22 - Staten Island, NY
Vinny, 21 - Staten Island, NY
and Danny their Boss (T-shirt Shop) and Landlord

Now the scoop is MTV has received threats about the show, and advertisers are bolting.
Andre DiMino, president of the largest Italian-American service organization found their behavior "reprehensible and demeaning in all respects."
"I don't see any redeeming value in the show," DiMino told the Times. "They are an embarrassment to themselves and to their families."
So its just not me, but then their were 1.4 million viewers that watched the first episode on Dec. 3rd, so we'll see how it goes.

Episode #1 and #2

They move in, and Snooki gets wasted (insecure tiny little thing she is) and starts hitting on all the boys in her bra and panties the first night. Day 2 she's puking her guts out, and feels like everybody hates her. First day at work she's late which is a big NO-NO and nearly gets fired. That night she calls daddy to say she's decided to leave the show. (drama)
That same night the rest of the cast watch and laugh at snookie and choose to leave her at home while they hit the nightlife for the first time on the Jersey Shore Strip. Of course Mike and Sammi appear to be hitting it off and the others drink themselves into a stupor and eventually make it home safe and sound. But the late niter boys watch prettier girls scroll by their house and invite them up to hot tub in of course just their bras and panties, if that, while the other girls fret. Next day Snookie has a conversation or rather gets sympathy from Jenni, and is convinced to stay. Later the boys (mainly Ronnie) decide Sammi is the hottest chick in the house which makes Mike upset because he thought he is the hottest in the house, and would be hooking up with her whenever he wasn't with someone else through the summer. Angelina's attitude appears nasty to the boys when she realizes she not the queen bee of the house. Next day they go to work and sell t-shirts, which Mike does well because girls find him irresistible? That night they all go out, and well as we know sloppy drunks will hook up with anything. Snookie brings home a boy who is wasted who then pukes on the rooftop deck as they try to watch the sunrise, which is unfortunate for snookie as she was hoping for a sex filled night. Sammi hooks up with Ronny and decides he's worthy of her attention and as revenge for Mike being in the hot tub with the girls who came by the night before. (typical jealousy). Mike throws a tantrum later at home. But before they leave the club that night, DJ Pauly punches some guy's nose to protect his new roomie Vinny. Oh and DJ and Jwoww make out at the club too.

Episode #3
It seems Snookie has a thing for pickles everyday, of course the boys take that as a sexual meaning. Jenni's boyfriend (Tommy) is coming for a visit. Will she admit to cheating? Angelina and her two girlfriends come over (Alena and Elena). They all hit the club. Mike and Jenni hangout for the night. Angelina's married boyfriend shows up at the club and things so arye and they break up. Can someone tell me this...are those tracks in in Jenni's hair or just a really bad color job?, gawd girl pick a color would ya.
Next day Angelina is a "no show" at work, then eventually she stumbles in and claims she's sick. Yeah sick from drinking the night before, and just a lazy chick who just doesn't want to work during the summer in exchange for a place to live. So Danny the homeowner/boss shows up and bitches her out, and tells her to "Pack it Up". So she trys for sympathy from her roommates as she's walking out the door with her garbage bag full of clothes like how she walked in a week ago. But everybody was so sick of her BS they were just glad she was leaving. Will she be replaced?
Jenni calls her boyfriend, and admits to cheating in a round about way. He hangs up on her!
Next night Snookie's girlfriend Ryder comes over and they go hottubbing and invite Mike along. Snookie and Ryder have a bi-sexual moment in front of the boys and then snookie starts kissing on Mike. I think Mike is delusional personally. Sammi and Ronny go out on an official date, miniature golfing, go karts, and chow. They return to go get down and dirty in the "Guest Room".
The next day DJ Pauly and Vinny prove once again they are Guido's and light their propane gas grill using charcoal and lighter fluid. Which starts melting the BBQ, they extinguish the fire thankfully. Lastly, everyone heads to Club Karma, where Jenni danced with everybody. And since no girl wants to see another guy get screwed over she squeals on Sammi who had been chatting it up with a cop friend at the bar. Ronny humiliated just goes home in utter despair. Eventually she notices he's gone and goes home herself.

Episode #4
Ronnie is still upset with Sammi, as he sulks at home JWoww goes to comfort him. Sammi immediately thinks she's doing him and rushs back to the house.
Jenni feels bad for him. Sammi and Jenni (Jwoww) chat. Sammi finds Jenni in the same room and thinks the worst then leaves the room. Ronnie chases after her...boo hoo...They argue, they cry, they have sex! Meanwhile Mike and Pauly are looking for girls to hook up with, seems this is all they will do all season on this show. Pauly again doesnt get lucky yet Mikes trying to get some but the girls friend now wants to go home, neither get any.
Jenny resolves her boyfriend issues over the phone.
The next day Ronnie and Sammi, work at the t-shirt shop together. The next day the boys go do they're rituals: barbershop cut, tanning and workout. At the barbershopthey taunt Ronnie about his and Sammis sexlife which he doesnt say either way.
Meanwhile at the house Snooki misses her mommy, who's her BFF. Since mommy's bday is the next day she invites her over to hang out.
Now the night comes and everyone goes out to Karma Club Snooki gets buck wild on the dance floor showing everything by doing gymnastics. Meanwhile the boys are air fisting (guido dance craze) Jwoww and Pauly are just dancing but unbeknownst to her she's being watched by her boyfriends friend.
Pauly picks up a random girl and finds another for his buddy they leave, but along comes a Beammer with 2 better looking chicks so they dumb the first batch for the second. The four of them go to the house to hot tub. But the first batch of girls show up while their upstairs so since they arent getting any where with the second batch they dumb them and go back to the first sluts they found.
[Gawd im so nausiated writing this, the show is so baddddddd!]
Snooki meets a funny guy ends up on the beach with him and they watch the sunrise and snooki is dumbfounded cause yet another guy didnt want to have sex with her.
Oh I forgot to mention the guido rule of thumb, if one guy has a descent chick and the other doesnt the ugly board is called the "grenade". Pauly flees the scene.
Next morning, Jwoww gets crap from her boyfriend cause his buddy claims she was all over Pauly (which she was) they fight, he hangs up.
Snooki and her BFF mom have a great day together. That night everyone goes out again to Karma Club [is this the only place open there?!]
they're all hanging out at the bar ordering shots when 3 frat boys show up and start stealing their drinks. Eventually snooki starts yelling at them and in a flash she gets sucker punched and goes down for the count! The cops arrest the assaulter, and snooki lays screaming on the floor...scene ends!

Episode #5 see ya next week